I grew up mostly in North Vancouver, British Columbia. The family lived in Penticton, BC for five years, before my mother, sister and I moved back to the Vancouver area when I was seven.
I spent many summers working on a farm my mother’s parents created near Drumheller, Alberta and worked in England for a few months.
I have visited many places, including all provinces and territories except Newfoundland and Nunavit, most US states, many European and Asian countries. Travel writing, video, and photography have an appeal:-)
First Time Lucky
I had relatively few girlfriends, many female friends, and two long term relationships. Although I mark the end of my first marriage as the day of the wedding (I wrote a short-story about it), the whole thing seems entertaining now and we are still good friends. There seems to be some deep connection that continues. We had a reading from Kahil Gibran’s The Prophet during the vows, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness”. We have had thousands of miles of space in our togetherness!
Second Time Lucky
My next relationship lasted 30 years and we raised identical twin boys together. I met Ann when she was a roommate of a friend. She left to work in the Royal Society Gardens in Wiseley England for a year. I spent part of the year visiting and working in the gardens too.
We went to Ireland for Christmas and Scotland for Easter. I also toured Europe on a Eurail pass and met up with Ann and her German friend in Bavaria. I ended up riding the Magic Bus from Athens to Frankfort for two days, which was a story in itself!
Ann and I provided our boys with all the opportunities to do whatever they wanted to do. In many ways we learned more from the kids then we taught them. They both played musical instruments and we ended up being involved with various music organizations, and more classical music than we might have on our own.
We traveled a fair amount together and apart. I helped with Ann’s gardening business, then worked and IT and became self employed. Although at times I made more money than Ann, my income and spending habits were somewhat uneven. And she inherited money at various times and was very private about almost everything about her life and finances.
I was involved with music and did a fair amount to travelling on my own. In hindsight there was little that we discussed or planned together. In many ways we had a blessed life and lived in Paradise, but we were not really partners in our life together. We remain friends and have rich lives beyond our years together.
Ann thought she was doing me a favour by separating and think she was right. It opened up some doors and made me reflect on what I truly wanted for my life.
Life is an Open Road
I was already heading to Calgary to do a video project when we had the separation discussion. I used to trip to reflect on a few things I wanted. Here is what evolved over the next few months.
I had been thinking about going to Delray Beach, Florida for the American Writers and Artists (AWAI) Copywriting Bootcamp and Job Fair. I signed up at the last minute.
I had been driving a Lincoln Town Car as a chauffeur for the past year and I ended up talking to an actress originally from Baton Rouge about an interest in following a trip in Jamie Jenkin’s Road Trip USA that follows the Mississippi river from its headwaters in Minnesota to New Orleans. She made me promise to do the trip before getting out of the car. If I had not committed to returning to drive the Town Car while the owner was in Hawaii, I would have just continued driving from Calgary, down the Mississippi, to get to Florida for the AWAI Copywriting Bootcamp and Job Fair. As I was interested in travel writing, photography, and video, I would have arrived in Florida with a great story!
The morning I decided that I would return to Vancouver to chauffeur or some of the month and was just about to book a flight and hotel in Florida, I received an invitation from Marie Forleo to attend a book launch for Kris Carr in New York shortly after the AWAI event. I had been a fan of Marie Forleo for a year or so and had wondered how I might meet her, and here she is sending an invitation to join her, Kris Carr, and Gabriel Bernstein in East Village. Talk about serendipity! I ended up flying to Florida, renting a car for a quick visit to Savannah, Georgia, and flying to New York. I stayed with a friend’s daughter in a Brooklyn artist’s loft and had life changing experiences. Pure magic!
Back to School
I realized that if I wanted to have better relationships in the future, I needed to work through a few things for myself and learn more about women.
Here are a few of the things I did.
- Reviewed what things were lacking in myself and my relationships to see what could be improved.
- Took a look at my relationship with money and took some steps to unblock some ancient patterns.
- Worked through many Soul Re-Cognition sessions with Anne Marie Babchuck and Dane Stevens of An Extraordinary Life. There could be a book just on these sessions alone! Highly recommended.
- Ended up in Susan Bratton’s world at PersonalLifeMedia to learn more about relationships, love, and sex. Susan’s Relationship Magic book is a great place to start if you want to improve an existing relationship or build a new relationship. There is a values exercise in the book that is pure gold. And let’s just say you will never be bored with your love life again!
- Susan recommended Jim Benson’s Multi-Orgasmic Lover Training For Men program. The program helps men get in touch with the male body at a physical, emotional, energetic, and spiritual level. Amazing! Miracles can happen!
- In order to fill in a few holes in my understanding of a woman’s body and sexuality, I signed up for Lexi Love and Alexa Aime’s 7 Sexually Addicting Orgasms Program. Although the marketing might lead you to expect something else, the program has Lexi and Alexa fully clothed explaining female anatomy with a rubber model of a female vulva and demonstrating positions. They explain why certain things work for a woman and how to explore in a respectful and satisfying way. As I had hoped, the tips and techniques from a woman’s perspective is invaluable.
- Joined match.com mostly to see how women described themselves and what they were looking for. Although the above mentioned courses may suggest otherwise, I was not looking for either casual hookups or The One. I was not sure I was ready to date seriously, but there is no harm in communicating and maybe coffee and a walk. Right?
Online dating is a fascinating modern phenomenon. If nothing else, it is a great conversation starter. I found that if I was having coffee or meeting a mix of people through friends, a large number of people were either active on dating sites or thinking of trying them. Conversation naturally drifted into a discussion of what people were looking for and often hilarious dating stories. Topics that were once confined to private discussions between close friends became open in casual social gatherings. And people could design and ask for certain relationships to fit their values, rather than drift with chance circumstances. And most of the online dating sites facilitate connections in a smart and safe way. It simply works on many levels and is simply fun.